Monday, October 06, 2014

The Waiting is The Hardest Part - by Linz

This Tom Petty song, The Waiting, popped in my head the other day.

“You take it on faith, you take it to the heart, The waiting is the hardest part”.

I don’t really listen to Tom Petty much (anymore), but your brain does crazy things in the waiting. I can’t be held responsible for absent minded words, actions or emotions since referral day now that have of my brain and half of my heart seem to have made the trip to Ethiopia without me.

This post-referral phase is a mash up of emotions that is hard to process. The deep frustration of waiting has been brought into sharp contrast with the overwhelming joy of seeing our daughter’s face, knowing her name and hearing her voice. We anticipate updates and photos of her like Christmas morning, and then after we see them we realize we will have to wait to hold her, and talk to her and be with her, and I feel like a six- year- old after Christmas day, when the presents have been unwrapped and the family has all gone home.  I know that’s not it, I know it’s about something bigger and better to come, but there is no escaping the let-down.

We have been blessed with many photos of our daughter. As families have traveled they have graciously taken photos and spent time with her on our behalf. Sending emails back with photo attachments and kind words about her spunky personality, sweet smile, and excitement about her family. As we piece all of these things together we feel like we are getting to know our daughter. But we have to pull back and realize that we don’t know our daughter, no matter how much we want to. We can’t assume that the way she behaves around other families in an institutional care setting will be anything like how she functions within our family.

It would be easy to focus on the frustration of the wait, to become overwhelmed with how much we miss the daughter we haven’t yet met. But two things have kept us grounded.  Faith and the support of our family and friends. There is such peace in knowing that God has his hand in all of this and it will happen in time, for his Glory. We have also been upheld by the encouragement of friends and family. Sometimes  it’s just asking how things are going (and bearing with my overly detailed response) J, or the incredible generosity that has been put forth in funding our adoption.  We had a yard sale fundraiser at our church and our congregation rallied big time to support us. We had friends and family helping to organize all week long, and then showing up at 5am to help set up and stay until 5pm to help clean up. We are blessed. We cannot wait for our daughter to get to meet everyone who has already invested in her so much! Thank you!